ACT I, SCENE IV - "MAXIMUS GETS U-G-L-Y"

Wright Manor. Maximus' Wing. Re-enter Maximus and Tonya holding hands.

Maximus, "Wow, you looking hot tonight, baby girl!"
Tonya, Blushing, "Hot for you, Sir Maximus."
Maximus, "Girl, you need to stop yo stuff. Turn around one time for me."
Tonya slowly turns around. She wearing a one-piece, pink teddy Maximus bought for her.
Maximus, Rubbing his chin, "I must say, tha Lord has truly blessed you, Sister Tonya. Make a brotha wanna scream. In fact, I think I will scream." (He lets out a high pitch scream and then laughs.)
Tonya, Getting embarrassed, "St....st.....stop that, boy, before someone hears you!"
Maximus, "Awe, girl........ain't nobody gone hear us. Remember, you're in Sir Maximus' wing."
Tonya, "B....b....But what if Darling comes over?"
Maximus, "She won't.....she's preoccupied with her own life, if you know what I mean."
Tonya, Feeling more relaxed, "Oh, really? And who's she with?"
Maximus, "Don't worry 'bout all that. We got our own business to take care of."
He grabs her and starts kissing her.
Tonya, Looking around nervously, "Are you sure no one is going to come in?"
Maximus, Feeling rejected, "Will you please stop worrying."
Tonya, "But what about Pastor and First Lady Wright?"
Maximus, Sighing heavily, "They are both out of town and aren't expected until 5:00 a.m. Now come on girl, let's get busy. I need you."
Maximus starts kissing Tonya again.
Tonya, Responds but suddenly draws away, "And what is with you ignoring me at church? Are you sh...sh...ashamed of me?"
Maximus, Smiling, "Girl, you know we got's to be mo' careful."
Tonya, Allowing him to pull her closer, "I guess you're right. After all, I am First Lady's 'handmaiden' and closest confidant."
Maximus, Kissing her on her lips and neck, "Of course, I am.... I mean, of course I'm not. And what would my daddy say. You know how he feels about 'fornicators'!"
Maximus, Gestures and points as if preaching, "Thou shalt not fornicate!"
He and Tonya laughs.
Tonya, In a soft voice, "But Pastor Wright, you just don't understand......we, fornicators, have needs."
Maximus, Still 'preaching', "Needs?! Da Lawd shall supply all yo needs!"
Tonya, Grabbing Maximus' hand; placing it on her breast, "But Pastor, how da Lawd gone fulfill this need?"
Maximus, Kissing her passionately, "Yeah, now that's what I'm talking about. Enough talking. Let's git it on!"
Maximus starts humming 'Let's Get It On' by Marvin Gaye.
Tonya, Swooning and falling onto Maximus' bed, "Yeah, baby, that's my song."
Maximus, Softly lying on top of her, still humming; then singing, "Let's get it on.....let's get in on......"
Tonya, Softly, "Oh, yeah. I'm feeling you, baby."
They are interrupted by the phone ringing.
Pastor Wright, Sternly, "Maximus? Boy, what you up to?"
Maximus, Suddenly raising up and adjusting his clothes as if his father is there in person, "Sir? Nothing, sir. I was just sitting here laying down some beats."
Pastor Wright, Knowing his son is lying, "You sure? Why do you sound strange? You wouldn't be doing something you shouldn't be?"
Maximus, Lying, "No, sir....Well, sir.....I was singing and really getting into the song. And suddenly, I started to feel the Spirit."
Pastor Wright, Laughing, "You ain't got some pretty young girl over there have you, son?"
Maximus, "No, sir.....I don't have no pretty young girl over here."
Tonya punches him on the arm.
Maximus holds his finger to her mouth; gesturing her to keep quiet.
Pastor Wright, "Well, I just called to say, your mother and I will be there shortly. The conference ended early, and we decided to come on home to see what you and Darling were up to."
First Lady Wright insisting on speaking with her son.
First Lady, "Son, are you all right? Have you been eating?"
Maximus, Clearing his throat and smiling, "Yes, Mother. I'm fine, and yes, I've been eating."
First Lady, "Where's your sister? Where's Darling?"
Maximus, "She in her room. Do you want me to transfer you to her room?"
First Lady, "Yes, son. Hold on a second. Baby (To Pastor Wright), do you need to speak with Maximus any more?
Pastor Wright, Clearing his throat, "No, dear. Just remind him that we'll be there in about an hour."
First Lady, "Okay. Son, transfer me to Darling's room."
Maximus, Breathing a sigh of relief, "Yes, Mother. Love you. See you and Pops soon."
First Lady, "Love you, too."
Maximus, Calling Darling's room, "Darling? Girl, you got your clothes on? Mom and Pops are on their way home!"
Darling, Alarmed, "But I thought they weren't expected until 5:00 a.m.?"
Maximus, Laughing, "They weren't but the conference ended early, and they decided to surprise us. So you'd better get some clothes on and send that dude home."
Darling, Lying, "What dude?"
Maximus, Still laughing, "Yeah, right."
Maximus, Coming back to his mother, "Mom, she must be in the bathroom. But I know she's home. We'll see you when you get here."
First Lady, "Well, alright.......Love you...kisses."
Maximus, Kissing the phone, "Love you, too, Mom. See you in a little bit."
Maximus, Hanging up suddenly and grabbing Tonya, "Come on girl. We ain't got but a few minutes and that's all I need."
Tonya, Giggling and punching Maximus, "You ought to be ashamed. And what was that all about?"
Maximus, Laughing, "What?"
Tonya, "No, sir, I ain't got no pretty young girl over here. So I ain't pretty?"
Maximus, Still laughing and kissing Tonya, "Aw, girl, you know I was just playing. You know you are so beautiful. (He starts singing the song, "You Are So Beautiful.)

Scene III - Wright Manor - Maximus Wright's Wing

Enter Maximus Wright and Napoleon Weasley

Maximus, Singing to iPod, music playing loudly in ear; Napoleon following him.

MAXIMUS' SONG.

Jesus is my Lord.

Jesus in my King.

He was there in tha beginnin'

Yeah......He created everythin'!

Spoke it all into existence by saying , 'Let there be!'

There's absolutely nobody......nowhere that's greater than He!

I am blessed coming in.

I am blessed going out.

And it's all because of Jesus.

So let me hear you shout!

Say, 'I'm blessed!'

Napoleon, Echoes, "Blessed!"

Maximus, Singing louder, "Blessed!"

Napoleon, Echoing again, "Blessed!"

Maximus, "Say, 'I'm blessed!'

Napoleon, "Blessed!"

Maximus, Continiuing to dance around his room, as he removes his iPod from his ear, "Say, I'm blessed beyond all measure. There's no way I'll eva doubt!"

Napoleon, giving Maximus a high five, "Yeah, man......That's what I'm talking 'bout! Man, that's hittin'!

Maximus, As he give Napoleon another high five, "And, you know this!"

Napoleon, "Man, when are you gone lay that down?"

Maximus, "Oh, it's in the works, brotha. You betta believe that!"

Napoleon, "Man, tha world ain't gone be able to handle Tha Maximus!"

Maximus, "Of, course not! But the question is?"

Napoleon, "What's that man?"

Maximus, He laughs and slaps Napoleon on the head, "What tha haters gone say?"

Napoleon, "So what you saying?"

Maximus, "Come on man. You and me both know how haters always hatin' on 'Sir Maximus The Great!"

Napoleon, "You right. They do be hatin' don't they?"

Maximus, "Fo real! And they ain't even seen the best of Maximus yet!"

Napoleon, "There you go.........."

Maximus, "What?! You know I'm speakin' truth, brotha."

Napoleon, "I know but why you always got to refer to yourself as 'Sir Maximus The Great?"

Maximus, Grinning, "Cause I am, and everybody wants to be me---even you."

Napoleon, "Naw, brotha......just as long as you let me come along and enjoy the benefits of basking in your greatness."

Maximus, Slapping him again and grinning widely, "Oh, believe that."

Napoleon, Changing the subject, "So what's the story with you and old girl?"

Maximus, "Who?"

Napoleon, Enviously, "Tonya. Ya'll were looking a little serious at Church last Sunday."

Maximus, "Nothin' man. You know how tha ladies be crushin' on Sir Maximus The Great.'

Napoleon, "Well, she's telling everybody that you and her are a couple."

Maximus, Hissing and laughing, "T-T-Tonya? Come on man. You know me betta than that."

Napoleon, Laughing, "Yeah, you right. She does have that st...st...studdering problem."

They both laugh again.

Maximus, Still laughing, "Hey, but she do got tha body---from the neck down!"

Napoleon, Laughing uncontrollably, "Yeah, she also puts the 'u' in 'ugly!'

Maximus, Rapping, "I say she ugly. Ug.......ug......ug......ugly!" (They laugh harder.)

Napoleon, "But seriously man......you don't think you can get pass tha st......st......studdering and ug......ug......ug......ugly?"

Maximus, Leaping on top of his bed, with arms raised, "Baby, I AM MAXIMUS! MAXIMUS THE GREAT! And MAXIMUS THE GREAT don't do ugly. (He leaps off the bed, laughing.) Now, get out of here........I'm expecting company."

Napoleon, "Anybody I know?"

Maximus, "Nope, and don't ask me to tell you her name."

Napoleon, "Alright, man. I'll see you tomorrow. Sorry, I mean, I'll see 'Sir Maximus the Great tomorrow'." (He bows and then leaves, giving Maximus a brotherly hug.)

Maximus, Suddenly rushing into his private bathroom to freshening up. The door bell rings. Maximus sprays on some cologne. Pops in a mint. Looks in the mirror and repeats, 'I AM MAXIMUS......MAXIMUS THE GREAT!' And rushes downstairs. A figure awaits him at the door.

"Maximus, The Great"