"Something's Not Right"

ACT I, SCENE VII

Wright Manor

As Pastor James Wright and Lady Mary Martha Wright pulls into their driveway, Pastor Wright suddenly gets a sinking feeling in his stomach as he turns off the car.

Lady Wright, Concerned, "What is it, James?"

Pastor Wright, Seemingly upset, "Something's not right, baby."

Lady Wright, Reaching over and kissing her husband, "Now, baby, you always say that after we come back from Conference. Everything's fine. You're just feeling anxious because you're still on a Holy Ghost high."

Pastor Wright, Kissing her back, "No. Something is definitely not right. I can't put my finger on it but since we've been away the enemy has been busy."

Lady Wright, Trying to console her husband, "Baby, the devil is always busy. That's because he knows you and the Lord always exposes his mess. Now, stop your fretting and let's go in and see what Maximus and Darling have been up to."

Pastor Wright, Laughing lightly, "You're right, Mary. I know 'ole slooefoot' has been up to no good, but I know the Lord will expose him before the night is over. Let's see what our offsprings have been doing since we've been gone."

Pastor and Lady Wright get out of the car and enters their home.

Pastor and Lady Wright, Calling out together, "Children---we're home!"

Maximus is the first to appear.

Maximus, Grinning sheepishly and hugging them, "Mom---Dad".

Pastor Wright, Eyeing Maximus and smiling, "Boy, what have you been doing?"

Maximus, Laughing, "Nothing, Dad. Just chillin' here at the house."

Pastor Wright, Still smiling, "I just bet you have."

Lady Wright, Grabbing Maximus and hugging him again, "Honey, give the boy a break. If he says he's been 'chillin' here at the house then he's been 'chillin' here at the house."

Pastor Wright, "You always were soft when it came to Maximus but you forget, I was his age once and 'chillin' at the house always meant more than just 'chillin' at the house. Ain't that right, Maximus? (Pastor Wright winks at Maximus, slaps him on the back and they both laughed.)

Maximus, Still laughing, "You knowwwww!"

Pastor Wright, Laughing heartedly, "Watch yo'self, boy! Now, where's my baby girl at?"

Maximus, "Oh, she's upstairs somewhere. You know, Darling---probably, taking a shower or something."

Darling Wright suddenly appears at the top of the stairs.

Darling Wright, Hurrying down to greet them, "Dad---Mom. (Hugging them both) How was the conference?"

Mary Wright, Hugging Darling and kissing her on the cheek, "It was very refreshing. You know your father---He showed out and let the Lord use him. I even thought I saw wings on his back when he was delivering the welcoming address." (She chuckles.)

Pastor Wright, Grinning, "How's my baby girl? And how are your classes coming along?" (Not giving her time to answer.) All A's, right?"

Darling Wright, Hugging her daddy and crossing her fingers, "Yes, daddy."

Pastor Wright, "Good girl. Good girl."

Mary Wright, Suddenly yawning, "Well, we've had a long weekend and I'm sure you two are tired as well. Let's say we all go to bed and catch up in the morning over a good old-fashioned breakfast of hot cakes, sausage, cheese and eggs, grits, and hashbrowns?"

Maximus and Darling, Chiming together and hurrying toward the stairs, "Sounds great! Good night!"

Pastor Wright, "Hold on, now, not so quick---How 'bout we say a family prayer together before we retire since we're all up?"

Maximus and Darling, "Okay, daddy. You lead."

Pastor Wright, Bowing his head, "Let's all join hands. Heavenly, Father, we thank you for this day and for our family. We pray that you will continue to bless us and keep us in your care as we lay down for a good night sleep. We pray, Lord, that you would forgive us of our sins and those who have sinned against us. We further pray that the enemy's hand will have no place in our family. Let your guardian angels protect us, our friends and our church. We will forever give you the glory and the honor, and all these things we ask in your son, Jesus' name. Amen."

Mary, Maximus and Darling Wright, Simultaneously, "Amen."

Maximus and Darling hurries upstairs to check on their 'company', while Pastor and Lady Wright retire to their bedroom. As Pastor Wright closes the door to his bedroom, he still cannot ignore the gnawing feeling in his stomach that something is not right in the Wright's home.

Mary Wright, Hugging her husband, "That was a beautiful prayer, James. You see, I told you there was nothing to worry about."

Pastor Wright hugs her back but does not say anything. He begins to pray inwardly.

Upstairs in Maximus' bedroom.

Maximus, "Girl, you've got to get out of here! (He rushes Tonya to the back entrance to his bedroom before his father sets the alarm.) If my dad catches you in here, I'll be on punishment until I'm old and gray."

Tonya, Pouting, "Okay but can I have one more kiss?"

Maximus, Anxiously kisses her, "See you tomorrow." (He quickly closes the door.) "Whew!" (He exclaims and collapses on his bed.) "Thank you, Jesus!"

Upstairs in Darling's bedroom.

Darling, Pushing her visitor out her bedroom door, "See you tomorrow?"

Jonathan, "Yeah, baby, see you tomorrow. Wear something pretty for me."

Darling, Giggling, "You'd just better not let daddy catch you looking at me."

Jonathan, Smiling, "You let me worry about your daddy."

Darling, Closing the door quickly and collapsing on her bed, expecting her dad to set the alarm at any moment. "Jesus! That was close!" Darling suddenly receives a text on her phone.

Text message, "I'm watchin u. I saw u. I cn c u now."

Darling is suddenly fearful. She reaches up to close her blinds when a light flashes her from a tree near her bedroom door.

James Wright comes downstairs to set the alarm. He suddenly begins to pray aloud, "Father, I know something is not right in my house. Let your precious Holy Ghost show me what it is this night. Amen."

Lights out. The end of Act I.

"Husbands Love Thy Wives"

Act I, Scene VI

Elder Edward Strong & Prophetess Ruth Strong's Home

As lights come up Prophetess Ruth Strong is sitting at her dresser staring into the mirror.

Prophetess Strong, Crying and talking aloud to herself, "Lord, how much more of this am I suppose to take? Is this Your will or am I being a fool?" (Prophetess Strong sat looking at herself in the mirror and wondered what had happened to the beautiful man she'd married. Only married for six years, he had become increasingly angry and resentful towards her since transferring from Boston to Atlanta. She just couldn't understand what had happened to them. Edward was handsome, intelligent and very driven but lately, he had become increasingly moody; picking fights; and violently beating her. Ruth didn't know what was wrong; she just knew she wanted the old Edward back.)

Elder Strong suddenly enters their bedroom.

Elder Strong, Apologetically, while handing her an ice bag, "Baby, I'm sorry. I don't mean to hit you but you know it's your fault. Right?"

Prophetess Strong, Confused but nodding in agreement, "Yes, dear. (She knew not to disagree with her husband.) I should have known you had a hard day at the office. I don't know how I could have been so insensitive. I'm sorry, baby. Forgive me?"

Elder Strong, Still apologetically, "Now, baby, you know you can't say anything to Pastor about this---After all, I am his best elder, and we both know you made me hit you............right?"

Prophetess Strong, Looking at her husband in amazement, "Yes, dear, I'm sorry.........it was my fault."

Elder Strong, "That's what I thought. Now go in the bathroom, wash your face and go downstairs and fix me the dinner I should have had when I got home."

Prophetess Strong, Timidly, "Yes, dear. What did you say you wanted for supper tonight?"

Elder Strong, Sarcastic and hateful, "Woman, if you don't get yo' lazy a--- downstairs and fix my supper, I'm gone beat the hell out of you! You know what I like! Don't act like you stupid or something! Oh, yeah..........I forgot, you are stupid!"

Prophetess Strong, Frightened and hurrying toward the stairwell, "I'm sorry, Elder. Please......don't hit me again.......I'm going right now."

Elder Strong, Grabbing her and hugging her, "Aw, girl......you know I love you. You just make me so mad sometimes. Now, give me a kiss. (Prophetess Strong kisses him.) Give me a real kiss! Don't make me slap you. (She kisses him passionately.)

Prophetess Strong hurries down the stairwell to the kitchen. She has no idea what to fix for dinner. She'd made the mistake of cooking pasta the night before and barely escaped without a beating. "What was I thinking?," she exclaimed, tearfully, wiping away the tears. She knew Edward hated pasta but she'd had Women's Ministry and had barely gotten home before Edward. "What does he want from me?," she asked looking up at the ceiling and opening the refrigerator. "What do You want from me, Lord?," she asked looking up again.

Elder Strong, Bellowing downstairs, "I know you ain't on that phone?! You better not be talking to Sharon!" (Edward Strong knew that his wife often talked with Sharon Peacemen at church, even though Ruth had sworn she'd never told Sharon about the beatings. Nevertheless, he had assumed she had, and he knew Sharon was one of the biggest gossips in the church.) "......Fake hoe!"

Prophetess Strong, Fearfully, "No, dear. I'm not on the phone. I was talking to the Lord!"

Elder Strong, Still bellowing, "I know you don't call yo'self gettin' smart with me?!"

Prophetess Strong, Trying not to yell, while taking a steak out of the freezer, "No, dear. I would never disrespect you like that......I was truly talking to the Lord."

Elder Strong, Yelling louder, "Well, that's good! 'Cause if I ever find out you've been telling our business to those sistas in da church, I'll cut out your tongue!"

Prophetess Strong, Shuddering as if her husband is standing over her, "No, dear."

Elder Strong, Suddenly getting up and stomping down the stairs, "What did you say?!"

Prophetess Strong, Meekly, "I said, 'No, dear.' I would never speak to anyone about our personal affairs."

Elder Strong, Walking over to her and putting his finger to her temple, "One of these days, Ruth....Bang!" (He gestures as if pulling a trigger.)

Prophetess Strong jumps but doesn't comment. She begins to season the steak she's removed from the freezer.

Elder Strong, Laughing sarcastically, "How long that steak gone take to cook? I better be eating in an hour."

Prophetess Strong, Tearfully, "Yes, dear. It'll be ready. I promise."

Elder Strong, "It had better be! And I know you ain't crying?! Baby, don't you know I've been working all day, and I'm tired? Dealing with those idiots at the bank all day, and then coming home and dealing with a stupid wife----. Don't you think I'm hungry and aggravated?"

Prophetess Strong, Wiping tears from her eyes, "Yes, dear. I'm sorry, dear."

Elder Strong, "You're always 'sorry.' Just hurry yo' sorry a--- up before I slap the 'sorry' out of you!'

Prophetess Strong, Placing the steak in the broiler and wrapping foil around a baking potato, "Yes, dear."

Elder Strong, Suddenly becoming angry, "Baked potatoes?! Do you know how long it's gonna take to cook baked potatoes?!"

Prophetess Strong, Nervously removing the foil from the potato, "Yes, dear but it won't take that long. I promise. I can bake it in the microwave."

Elder Strong, Angrily yelling, "I thought the microwave was broken?!"

Prophetess Strong, Frightened; forgetting that the microwave was broken, "Yes, dear......I forgot......I forgot it was broken."

Elder Strong, Still yelling, "You see! That's what I'm talking about! Just forget it! I'll just go downtown and eat! (He storms out of the house and suddenly returns; pointing his finger at her, yelling.) You, see? That's why I beat you! (He grabs his jacket; walks out the front door; gets into his car, yelling at her as he leaves.) You are a trip! You know that? Stupid!

Prophetess Strong looking in amazement as her husband speeds down the street; breaks down, sobbing hysterically in fear; picks up the phone and dials a number. The phone rings.

Male Voice, "Hello,"

Prophetess Strong, Trying to sound cheerful, "Hey,......can you talk?"

Male Voice, Whispering, "Not, really? What's wrong?"

Prophetess Strong, Fighting back the tears, "Oh, nothing......just wanted to hear a friendly voice."

Male Voice, Concerned, "What's wrong, Ruth?"

Prophetess Strong starts sobbing.

Lights out.

ACT I, SCENE V - GWENDOLYN WRIGHT TO THE RESCUE

BUCKHEAD, GEORGIA.

DRS. LEONARDO and GWENDOLYN WRIGHT'S Mansion.

Enter GWENDOLYN.

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Walking into the Living Room; laying down her brief case; pulling off her shoes; turning on the 6:00 p.m. News.

News Reporter, Excited, "Ladies and Gentlemen, for those of you just tuning in......earlier today we brought you news of a shooting in Decatur, Georgia where it appears that a very distraught young woman shot her babies' daddy's lover; shot her babies' daddy; held him hostage for several hours and then threatened to kill herself. Now as I have been told, at approximately 12:30 p.m. this afternoon, TanSheena Monroe got off work early and came home to confront her babies' daddy about past due child support. It was upon entering her home that TanSheena Monroe caught her man---I mean, her boyfriend in bed with another woman, getting his freak on---. I'm sorry......TanSheena Monroe caught her man in bed with another woman. Miss Monroe then commenced to whipping her boyfriend's lover's a---behind. My bad, Miss Monroe assaulted the unidentified young woman with her shoe. Following the assault, an argument ensued between Miss Monroe and the unidentified young woman. Now Miss Monroe's babies' daddy---Miss Monroe's boyfriend tried to step in and break up the fight between the two women when Miss Monroe suddenly went in her handbag and produced a .45 caliber handgun, which appeared to be a Smith & Wesson. Miss Monroe then shot the unidentified young woman, killing her instantly---dead. She immediately began to fire at her boyfriend, LeRoy Smith. But as I understand it, Mr. Smith was able to think fast on his feet and jumped his monkey a---I mean, he was able to jumped behind the bed, and thereby avoided being shot by TanSheena Monroe. Miss Monroe then cornered Mr. Smith behind the bed, held him at gunpoint and called her psychiatrist, Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, whom she had been seeing for the last three months. Miss Monroe threatened to kill that n----I mean, Mr. Smith and herself. And as I understand it, Dr. Gwendolyn Wright was on her way home from a long day at the office when she received a call from Miss Monroe, who was apparently very upset at catching her man, LeRoy Smith in bed with another woman. The police are telling me that the unidentified young woman was Miss Monroe's best friend of some fifteen years. It just so happens that Dr. Wright was recently appointed to the Atlanta Hostage Negotiations Team and was able to calm Miss Monroe down and talk Miss Monroe into giving herself up. Dr. Wright, can you tell us what happened?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Sarcastically, "Same old story---'baby-mama drama'. It seems that Miss Monroe came home early from work to confront her babies' daddy about past due child support and found him in bed with an unidentified young woman. Upon catching him in bed with that ho---I'm sorry---the unidentified young woman, a fight between Miss Monroe and the unidentified young woman ensued. I was told that the young woman was Miss Monroe's best friend. Miss Monroe then took a pistol from her handbag; fired one shot in the chest of the unidentified young woman; killing her instantly. She then turned the gun on her boyfriend, LeRoy Smith; fired a shot at him. However, that joker---uh---Mr. Smith managed to jump his punk a---I'm sorry...Mr. Smith jumped behind the bed that he and the unidentified young woman had been in earlier and avoided being harmed. Miss Monroe then called me on my cell phone; crying and screaming, saying she was going to kill that n---Mr. Smith and then herself.

News Reporter, "Did Miss Monroe appear to be upset when she phoned you?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Looking at the reporter in oddly, "Well, I would say she was very upset. After all, she had just killed her boyfriend's lover, who was also her best friend of fifteen years; tried to kill him; held him hostage for several hours and then threatened to kill herself. Yes, Chuck, I would say she 'appeared to be extremely upset when she telephoned me'.

News reporter, "Dr. Wright, would you say this was a cry for help from Miss Monroe then?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Still looking at the reporter oddly, "Yes, I would say she was definitely crying out for help."

News reporter, "And do we know who the unidentified young woman was?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, "Apparently, she was Miss Monroe's best friend but her name is being withheld at this time until her family or next of kin can be notified."

News Reporter, "And so the unidentified young woman was fatally injured?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Looking at the reporter with disbelief, "Yes, she was killed. She's dead, Chuck."

News Reporter, Not moved by Dr. Wright's condescending tone; still excited, "And what about Mr. Smith---LeRoy Smith---did he appear to be upset when you got to the home?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Breathing deeply with disdain at the reporter's stupidity, "Well, judging by the fact that the woman he was just scr--- having sex with was killed right in front of him by his babies' mama---uh, Miss Monroe---and that he was almost killed himself---yes, he was very upset, Chuck."

News Reporter, "Would you say Mr. Smith---LeRoy Smith was afraid?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Suddenly smiling, "Yes, he was definitely afraid---he was very, very afraid."

News Reporter, "And you say this started over an argument about child support?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, "No. It started because TanSheena---I'm sorry, Miss Monroe caught that joker---I mean her man---I mean Mr. Smith in bed with that ho---I'm sorry another woman, who turned out to be Miss Monroe's best friend."

News Reporter, "So it sounds like you can sympathize with Miss Monroe, Dr. Wright. Am I right?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, "Well, I'm not saying I condone violence and what Miss Monroe did by any means but I understand."

News Reporter, "So Miss Monroe and Mr. Smith were living together?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, "It would appear that way."

News Reporter, "And Miss Monroe and Mr. Smith had a child together? Is that right?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, "Yes, they had eight children together."

News Reporter, In disbelief and shaking his head, "Eight! Tha brotha was busy! (He clears his throat.)---I mean it appears they were very much in love to have had so many children?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, "Well, I can't attest to their love for one another but they did have eight children together."

News Reporter, "And I understand Miss Monroe was already a patient of yours?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, "Yes. I started seeing her about three months ago, after the birth of their eighth child."

News Reporter, "So what would cause Miss Monroe to shoot her best friend and then try to kill her boyfriend, if they had eight children together?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Smiling, "Well, as the Right, Reverend Al Green would say, 'Love will make you do wrong'.

News Reporter, Candidly, "Love and Happiness, huh?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Condescendingly, "Well you know how these low income people are and the less fortunate members of society can be, Chuck. They have no hope---no jobs and they just continue to bring children into an already burdensome and stressed environment. Consequently, this just puts a strain on relationships and before you know it some body's cheating on somebody else with some body's best friend and before you know it---it erupts into a violent situation like the unfortunate incident we had here today."

News Reporter, Smiling, "Yes, you are so right, Dr. Wright......You people---I mean some of you people---do get quite busy and have a lot of children to show for it."

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Appalled and heated, "Now wait a minute, I'll have you know I graduated from Cornell University and later Emory University with a doctorate's degree in Psychiatric Medicine. So don't go putting all of 'us' into one box, Chuck!"

News Reporter, Suddenly alarmed, "I'm sorry, Dr. Wright. I didn't mean you. We know the more educated ones of you practice self-constraint by taking the necessary precautions."

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Bothered and tired, "I'm not going to stand here and debate the social and economical woes of our society with you, Chuck. Can we just stick to the subject at hand? Are there any more questions relating to the shooting and hostage situation that just occurred?"

News Reporter, "Yes. Did Mr. Smith make any statements regarding the situation prior to his release?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, "Yes. He was crying, shaking and extremely upset and said he had no idea that Miss Monroe had a gun in her purse. He further stated, he did not even know she owned a gun, and he apologized to her for sleeping with her best friend. And he said and I quote, 'D------, baby, it was only sex, you didn't have to kill da b----, TanSheena! (Explicit comment beeped).' And with that, Miss Monroe slapped the taste out of his mouth! I mean, Miss Monroe slapped him.

News Reporter, "And so, let me just recap what happened, Dr. Wright, and then I'll let you go....Earlier today at approximately 12:30 p.m., TanSheena Monroe left work early........(He pauses). Where did she work?'

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Getting angry, "At KFC---I mean Kentucky Fried Chicken!"

News Reporter, Beginning again, "Earlier today at approximately 12:30 p.m., TanSheena Monroe left work early from her job at Kentucky Fried Chicken......(He pauses again.) What was her position?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Exclaiming with a loud sigh, "Good God, man! Does it really matter?! She was a cashier!"

News Reporter, Starting over from the beginning, "Earlier today at approximately 12:30 p.m., TanSheena Monroe left work early from her job at Kentucky Fried Chicken, where she was a cashier and went to her home, which she shared with her boyfriend, LeRoy Smith and their eight children to confront him about back child support. Apparently, when she arrived, she caught bro' man---I mean, LeRoy Smith, her babies' daddy---(He suddenly pauses again; everyone gasps in disbelief.)---All eight of them?

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright shakes her head in disbelief, while nodding, 'Yes.'

News Reporter, He continues as if he never stopped, When she---Miss Monroe arrived at their home, she found her boyfriend, LeRoy Smith in bed with an unidentified young woman, who was her best friend. TanSheena Monroe commenced to wailing on---uh, Tan Sheena Monroe assaulted the ho---the unidentified young woman with her shoe...(He suddenly interrupts himself again.)---Was that TanSheena's shoe or the unidentified young woman's shoe? (The cameramen burst into laughter, along with Dr. Wright and the neighbors standing around trying to get on film. The news reporter continues, never losing his composure.)---An argument ensued; LeRoy Smith tried to intervene and Miss Monroe shot the unidentified young woman, who was her best friend of fifteen years in the chest, fatally wounding her and killing her dead. She then turned the gun, which by the way was a .45 caliber Smith & Wesson on her boyfriend and babies' daddy, and shot at him. She failed to shoot his bl---I mean she missed him because he jumped his monkey a---He jumped behind the bed he had just been bumpin' and grindin' in (He gestures, as if having sex. The cameramen, the neighbors, Dr. Wright and the police all howl with laughter. The reporter never loses his composure.)--- with the unidentified young woman and avoided being hit. TanSheena Monroe then cornered LeRoy Smith behind the bed, while he cowered and pleaded with Miss Monroe not to shoot him. She held him hostage for several hours and then phoned you, Dr. Wright, to say she was going to kill that n---LeRoy Smith and then herself. However, you were able to calm her down and talk her into surrender-ing. Is that right, Dr. Wright?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, Exasperated, "That's correct."

News Reporter, Suddenly concerned and serious, "And what about the children, Dr. Wright? What's going to happen to the children?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, "DFACS will take them into protective custody until they can be placed with relatives, while Miss Monroe awaits a bond hearing."

News Reporter, "I guess you never thought something like this would happen to you today, right?"

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, "I'm just glad no more lives were taken and my patient, TanSheena Monroe wasn't hurt. After all, the children need their mother. And as for LeRoy Smith, well... he'd just better thank God he wasn't killed."

News Reporter, "You're right. Well I'm going to let you get home, Dr. Wright. I know you must be exhausted after your ordeal today."

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright, "Exhausted is right. Good evening, Chuck."

News Reporter, "Good evening, Dr. Wright. And there you have it, Ladies and Gentlemen.... A horrific tale today of what appears to be a murder and assault with a deadly weapon, with one victim fatally injured and another scared sh---less (Explicit remark beeped.) We are now standing by to speak with the Chief of Police, who I understand is on his way here from Krispy Kremes. Now back to you, Monica."

Dr. Gwendolyn Wright turned the television down as Monica Kauffman began to repeat the ordeal of the day. Gwen stares at the television realizing that she wasn't wearing any lipstick and that her hair was messed up. Everything had happened so fast. She'd left her office as usual when suddenly her cell rang. TanSheena was on the other end, crying hysterically and screaming, 'I'm going to kill him, Dr. Wright! I'm going to kill this n------!' Gwen doesn't remember what she'd said but she had somehow managed to calm TanSheena down, and when she arrived at the house, TanSheena had allowed her to enter. She was still shaking from the ordeal. She had only been a psychiatrist for six months and was only appointed to the Atlanta Hostage Negotiation Team last week. She never expected something like to this happen. As she took another sip of wine, she exclaimed, "I look a hot mess! Look at my hair! And, (Leaning forward in her chair) is my jacket unbutton?" Her husband, Dr. Leonardo Wright, walks in.

Enter Dr. Leonardo Wright.

Dr. Leonardo Wright, Grinning, kissing Gwen as he takes off his jacket, "So did anything exciting happen with you and your 'nuts' today?

Gwen, Grimacing, "Honey, how many times have I asked you not to call my patients 'nuts?' You know how I feel about that term. How would you like it if I called your cousin, Darius a 'nut'?

Leonardo, Smiling, "Baby, my cousin, Darius ain't crazy. He just forgets to take his medicine sometimes."

Gwen, Seriously, "Honey, Darius is always forgetting to take his medicine. And, any way, why do you think he has to take medicine? Anyone who takes off their clothes in the middle of winter and runs buck-naked down the middle of I-20 is a little touched---don't you think?"

Leonardo, Smiling; He knew how much Gwen hating the term but he loved getting a rise out of her, "I'm sorry, baby. Did something unexpected happen today? You look haggard."

Gwen, Suddenly reaching for her purse to get her mirror and taking another sip of wine, "I do? Well, if you'd been through what I'd experienced today, you would look haggard, too."

Leonardo, Suddenly concerned, "What happened, baby?"

Gwen, "You remember TanSheena Monroe from church don't you? (Gwen knew she wasn't suppose to discuss her patients with Leonardo because this violated patient-doctor confidentiality but she had only been practicing medicine for six months and didn't think talking to her husband about some of her patients could do any harm.)

Leonardo, Smiling, "Yeah, TanSheena Monroe with the big br---?"

Gwen, Interrupting her husband; irritated that he would even look at TanSheena, "Yes, TanSheena Monroe with the big breasts!"

Leonardo, Realizing that Gwen was embarrassed of her small breasts and had decided to let him give her implants after much thought in a few weeks, "Well, baby, you know I am a plastic surgeon......and who can't help but notice TanSheena's breasts? They're perfect! And they're real!"

Gwen, Suddenly becoming angry, "Baby, can I please finish the story?"

Leonardo, Grinning, "I'm sorry baby. Go on."

Gwen, "Well, TanSheena told me that she had suspected LeRoy was cheating on her with KeeKee..."

Leonardo, Pushing Gwen's buttons again; laughing, "You mean, big booty KeeKee?"

Gwen, Suddenly realizing that Leonardo was teasing her, "Yes, 'Big Booty KeeKee.' And when did you notice KeeKee's booty? Never mind---she does have a noticeably big booty....Any way, TanSheena suspected that LeRoy was cheating on her with KeeKee; got off work early today; came home; caught them in bed together; got into a fight; shot KeeKee in the chest; killed her; tried to kill LeRoy and then threatened to kill herself. Typical, 'baby-mama drama.'"

Leonardo, Not really surprised; he'd known LeRoy and KeeKee had been seeing each other for sometime, "Well, I'm not surprised are you? What's our mantra? 'Church folk..........."

Gwen, Laughing, "......Somethin' else!' (They laugh harder.)

Leonardo, Pouring himself a glass of Scotch, "I'm just glad we don't have to deal with those type issues in our marriage."

Gwen, Suddenly becoming more serious, "Me, too, baby. I just don't know what I'd do if I found out you were cheating on me and had babies on the side."

Leonardo, "Well, fortunately for you, you'll never have to worry about that. You are my one and only. My boo." (Leonardo quickly downs his glass of Scotch; walks over to the stereo and puts in his favorite---Al Green's, 'Love and Happiness.')

Gwen, Smiles and remembers her interview with the news reporter earlier, "I'm serious, honey. I think I might even go 'ghetto' if I caught you cheating."

Leonardo, Suddenly pulling her up from her chair, "Well, you won't. Now, I've had a long day and you've certainly had a long day.......let's just listen to the Right, Reverend Al and get our groove on." (They began to slow dance.)

Gwen, Smiling; she lays her head on his shoulder and begins kissing him on his neck; suddenly she smells cologne that is not what he usually wears. She coos; kisses him on the mouth.

ACT I, SCENE IV - "MAXIMUS GETS U-G-L-Y"

Wright Manor. Maximus' Wing. Re-enter Maximus and Tonya holding hands.

Maximus, "Wow, you looking hot tonight, baby girl!"
Tonya, Blushing, "Hot for you, Sir Maximus."
Maximus, "Girl, you need to stop yo stuff. Turn around one time for me."
Tonya slowly turns around. She wearing a one-piece, pink teddy Maximus bought for her.
Maximus, Rubbing his chin, "I must say, tha Lord has truly blessed you, Sister Tonya. Make a brotha wanna scream. In fact, I think I will scream." (He lets out a high pitch scream and then laughs.)
Tonya, Getting embarrassed, "St....st.....stop that, boy, before someone hears you!"
Maximus, "Awe, girl........ain't nobody gone hear us. Remember, you're in Sir Maximus' wing."
Tonya, "B....b....But what if Darling comes over?"
Maximus, "She won't.....she's preoccupied with her own life, if you know what I mean."
Tonya, Feeling more relaxed, "Oh, really? And who's she with?"
Maximus, "Don't worry 'bout all that. We got our own business to take care of."
He grabs her and starts kissing her.
Tonya, Looking around nervously, "Are you sure no one is going to come in?"
Maximus, Feeling rejected, "Will you please stop worrying."
Tonya, "But what about Pastor and First Lady Wright?"
Maximus, Sighing heavily, "They are both out of town and aren't expected until 5:00 a.m. Now come on girl, let's get busy. I need you."
Maximus starts kissing Tonya again.
Tonya, Responds but suddenly draws away, "And what is with you ignoring me at church? Are you sh...sh...ashamed of me?"
Maximus, Smiling, "Girl, you know we got's to be mo' careful."
Tonya, Allowing him to pull her closer, "I guess you're right. After all, I am First Lady's 'handmaiden' and closest confidant."
Maximus, Kissing her on her lips and neck, "Of course, I am.... I mean, of course I'm not. And what would my daddy say. You know how he feels about 'fornicators'!"
Maximus, Gestures and points as if preaching, "Thou shalt not fornicate!"
He and Tonya laughs.
Tonya, In a soft voice, "But Pastor Wright, you just don't understand......we, fornicators, have needs."
Maximus, Still 'preaching', "Needs?! Da Lawd shall supply all yo needs!"
Tonya, Grabbing Maximus' hand; placing it on her breast, "But Pastor, how da Lawd gone fulfill this need?"
Maximus, Kissing her passionately, "Yeah, now that's what I'm talking about. Enough talking. Let's git it on!"
Maximus starts humming 'Let's Get It On' by Marvin Gaye.
Tonya, Swooning and falling onto Maximus' bed, "Yeah, baby, that's my song."
Maximus, Softly lying on top of her, still humming; then singing, "Let's get it on.....let's get in on......"
Tonya, Softly, "Oh, yeah. I'm feeling you, baby."
They are interrupted by the phone ringing.
Pastor Wright, Sternly, "Maximus? Boy, what you up to?"
Maximus, Suddenly raising up and adjusting his clothes as if his father is there in person, "Sir? Nothing, sir. I was just sitting here laying down some beats."
Pastor Wright, Knowing his son is lying, "You sure? Why do you sound strange? You wouldn't be doing something you shouldn't be?"
Maximus, Lying, "No, sir....Well, sir.....I was singing and really getting into the song. And suddenly, I started to feel the Spirit."
Pastor Wright, Laughing, "You ain't got some pretty young girl over there have you, son?"
Maximus, "No, sir.....I don't have no pretty young girl over here."
Tonya punches him on the arm.
Maximus holds his finger to her mouth; gesturing her to keep quiet.
Pastor Wright, "Well, I just called to say, your mother and I will be there shortly. The conference ended early, and we decided to come on home to see what you and Darling were up to."
First Lady Wright insisting on speaking with her son.
First Lady, "Son, are you all right? Have you been eating?"
Maximus, Clearing his throat and smiling, "Yes, Mother. I'm fine, and yes, I've been eating."
First Lady, "Where's your sister? Where's Darling?"
Maximus, "She in her room. Do you want me to transfer you to her room?"
First Lady, "Yes, son. Hold on a second. Baby (To Pastor Wright), do you need to speak with Maximus any more?
Pastor Wright, Clearing his throat, "No, dear. Just remind him that we'll be there in about an hour."
First Lady, "Okay. Son, transfer me to Darling's room."
Maximus, Breathing a sigh of relief, "Yes, Mother. Love you. See you and Pops soon."
First Lady, "Love you, too."
Maximus, Calling Darling's room, "Darling? Girl, you got your clothes on? Mom and Pops are on their way home!"
Darling, Alarmed, "But I thought they weren't expected until 5:00 a.m.?"
Maximus, Laughing, "They weren't but the conference ended early, and they decided to surprise us. So you'd better get some clothes on and send that dude home."
Darling, Lying, "What dude?"
Maximus, Still laughing, "Yeah, right."
Maximus, Coming back to his mother, "Mom, she must be in the bathroom. But I know she's home. We'll see you when you get here."
First Lady, "Well, alright.......Love you...kisses."
Maximus, Kissing the phone, "Love you, too, Mom. See you in a little bit."
Maximus, Hanging up suddenly and grabbing Tonya, "Come on girl. We ain't got but a few minutes and that's all I need."
Tonya, Giggling and punching Maximus, "You ought to be ashamed. And what was that all about?"
Maximus, Laughing, "What?"
Tonya, "No, sir, I ain't got no pretty young girl over here. So I ain't pretty?"
Maximus, Still laughing and kissing Tonya, "Aw, girl, you know I was just playing. You know you are so beautiful. (He starts singing the song, "You Are So Beautiful.)

Scene III - Wright Manor - Maximus Wright's Wing

Enter Maximus Wright and Napoleon Weasley

Maximus, Singing to iPod, music playing loudly in ear; Napoleon following him.

MAXIMUS' SONG.

Jesus is my Lord.

Jesus in my King.

He was there in tha beginnin'

Yeah......He created everythin'!

Spoke it all into existence by saying , 'Let there be!'

There's absolutely nobody......nowhere that's greater than He!

I am blessed coming in.

I am blessed going out.

And it's all because of Jesus.

So let me hear you shout!

Say, 'I'm blessed!'

Napoleon, Echoes, "Blessed!"

Maximus, Singing louder, "Blessed!"

Napoleon, Echoing again, "Blessed!"

Maximus, "Say, 'I'm blessed!'

Napoleon, "Blessed!"

Maximus, Continiuing to dance around his room, as he removes his iPod from his ear, "Say, I'm blessed beyond all measure. There's no way I'll eva doubt!"

Napoleon, giving Maximus a high five, "Yeah, man......That's what I'm talking 'bout! Man, that's hittin'!

Maximus, As he give Napoleon another high five, "And, you know this!"

Napoleon, "Man, when are you gone lay that down?"

Maximus, "Oh, it's in the works, brotha. You betta believe that!"

Napoleon, "Man, tha world ain't gone be able to handle Tha Maximus!"

Maximus, "Of, course not! But the question is?"

Napoleon, "What's that man?"

Maximus, He laughs and slaps Napoleon on the head, "What tha haters gone say?"

Napoleon, "So what you saying?"

Maximus, "Come on man. You and me both know how haters always hatin' on 'Sir Maximus The Great!"

Napoleon, "You right. They do be hatin' don't they?"

Maximus, "Fo real! And they ain't even seen the best of Maximus yet!"

Napoleon, "There you go.........."

Maximus, "What?! You know I'm speakin' truth, brotha."

Napoleon, "I know but why you always got to refer to yourself as 'Sir Maximus The Great?"

Maximus, Grinning, "Cause I am, and everybody wants to be me---even you."

Napoleon, "Naw, brotha......just as long as you let me come along and enjoy the benefits of basking in your greatness."

Maximus, Slapping him again and grinning widely, "Oh, believe that."

Napoleon, Changing the subject, "So what's the story with you and old girl?"

Maximus, "Who?"

Napoleon, Enviously, "Tonya. Ya'll were looking a little serious at Church last Sunday."

Maximus, "Nothin' man. You know how tha ladies be crushin' on Sir Maximus The Great.'

Napoleon, "Well, she's telling everybody that you and her are a couple."

Maximus, Hissing and laughing, "T-T-Tonya? Come on man. You know me betta than that."

Napoleon, Laughing, "Yeah, you right. She does have that st...st...studdering problem."

They both laugh again.

Maximus, Still laughing, "Hey, but she do got tha body---from the neck down!"

Napoleon, Laughing uncontrollably, "Yeah, she also puts the 'u' in 'ugly!'

Maximus, Rapping, "I say she ugly. Ug.......ug......ug......ugly!" (They laugh harder.)

Napoleon, "But seriously man......you don't think you can get pass tha st......st......studdering and ug......ug......ug......ugly?"

Maximus, Leaping on top of his bed, with arms raised, "Baby, I AM MAXIMUS! MAXIMUS THE GREAT! And MAXIMUS THE GREAT don't do ugly. (He leaps off the bed, laughing.) Now, get out of here........I'm expecting company."

Napoleon, "Anybody I know?"

Maximus, "Nope, and don't ask me to tell you her name."

Napoleon, "Alright, man. I'll see you tomorrow. Sorry, I mean, I'll see 'Sir Maximus the Great tomorrow'." (He bows and then leaves, giving Maximus a brotherly hug.)

Maximus, Suddenly rushing into his private bathroom to freshening up. The door bell rings. Maximus sprays on some cologne. Pops in a mint. Looks in the mirror and repeats, 'I AM MAXIMUS......MAXIMUS THE GREAT!' And rushes downstairs. A figure awaits him at the door.

"Maximus, The Great"

Scene II--Darling Wright's Bedroom

Enter Darling Wright, with cell phone; texting.

Darling, "Hey, babe. Wat r u up 2?"

Receiver, "Jst lyng hr thnkn bout u."

Darling, Giggling, "Dats so swet. Im thnkn bout u 2. Ms me?"

Receiver, "Wat do u thnk? Wat r u wearin?"

Darling, Still giggling, and applying makeup, "Nuthin."

Receiver, "OMG!!!!!!!!!"

Darling, Giggling loudly, "LOL...u so krzy! R u stil cmng 2nte?"

Receiver, "LOL......I wudnt ms dos big legs 4 da wrld! Wat tm r u dancing?"

Darling, Sighing, "Bout 10 and my m&d wl b hm bout 5 am.......So we hve al nte."

Receiver, "OMG!!! On my way ovr!!!!"

Darling, Still giggling, "Wat hv I tld u bout usng da Lrds nme n vain? Anyway, I need 2 git my har & nails don 4 2ntes shw."

Receiver, "Oh, man......I cn feel dos bg thighs on me now!!!!!!!"

Darling, Suddenly aroused, "Now, now, babe......clm dwn u getn me all xcited...lol! We'll c ech othr 2nte!"

Receiver, "Well...awrght. Bt wl u do smthin 4 me?"

Darling, "Anything, babe."

Receiver, "Tlk drty 2 me......pls?"

Darling, Sighing, "I tld u I dont hve tme......Got 2 get my har & nails don. May b nxt tm.....LOL"

Receiver, "Awrght......do somthn els 4 me den."

Darling, Sighing louder in exasperation, as she changes clothes, "Wat, babe?"

Receiver, "Sin me a pic rite now!!!!!!! U no hw I git." (He sends her a sad face.)

Darling, "K......Luv u.......got 2 go......my aptmnt is at 7:30!!!!!! Cant b late!!!!LOL"

Receiver, "Kinda lat 2 b gitng yo har & nails don....u betta not b cuttn out on me baby grl!!!!" (He sends her another sad face.)

Darling, Laughing, "U trippin......lol!"

Receiver, "U gon b trippin if I fnd out u playn me!!!!!! Y u breathin so hard??????!"

Darling, Hurriedly dressing, "Babe, u no I wuld nvr play u......lol......I luv u!!!!" (She sends him a rose.)

Receiver, "Dats my grl. (He sends her a smiley face) R u wearing dat new outft I bout u?"

Darling, "Yes, babe!!!!!!!! Now can I go????? LOL"

Receiver, "You shol n a hurry.........u sur u gitn yo har & nails don?"

Darling, "Yes, babe! (She sends him a smiley face.)

Receiver, "Rememba wat I told u.....Ill kill u if I find out u playn me!!!!!" (He sends her a picture of a gun to his head.)

Darling, "Babe, I told u......I luv u n wuld nevr cheat on u." (She sends him another smiley face.)

Receiver, "K....Ill c u 2nte. Cant w8!"

Darling, Smiling, "I luv u (She sends him a kiss).......C u round 10."

Suddenly, the door bell rings.

"Comingggggg!"

Darling quickly adjusts her new wig, touches up her lip gloss and hurries downstairs. She pauses to take one last look in the mirror. At the bottom of the stairs she can see a dark figure at the door. She opens the door. Jonathan David grabs her, and they immediately start kissing passionately.